Cat eyes hunting prey.
Clandestine footprints on untrodden soil.
But where were the mewlings?
Had they suffocated on the taste of fear?
Look deeper, said the tree, because trees always know.
Sink into the soil, sang the earth as it always did.
Wrap the tenderness of leaves around your heart, cried the oneness of nature.
And she did.
But where were the mewlings?
Breathe in, breathe out, said the tree.
They came, slowly at first,
Then dancing like wild beasts,
Silence torn between their teeth.
It was an illusion
Nothing was left behind but the past
In fact she needed nothing more to step into the future
Except the belief that there was one.
Climate Changed her.
The world held her well
Each hard-boned twig that pressed into her flesh
Reminded her that strength and fragility
Exist in the same moment
Something happened. It was the inevitable grinding of the tectonic plates. The unfolding of a naked leaf into a perfect lotus pose. A bird song that cracked the silence. A kiss that vanished. A heart beat that stopped. There were words that never made it to the page and sighs unexpressed. There was the deepest indigo of my soul where the darkness of night was broken only by the silver crescent of the moon. Then sky so blue that I cried tears of joy. I held myself in the certainty that this moment would never last. Then I exhaled freedom.
It’s made of stone, solid.
Something the heart desires, at least for some time.
Of course, nothing is certain, it never is.
There’s no room for doubt, said the solid, stone house. Let’s reflect on that, stared the window pane. I’m no longer pristine, mumbled the wall at her feet. The lamp tilted her head then spoke in a tone that was somewhat lighter than the old, plastered sheet. You’re somewhere between, not ceiling or floor. It could be worse, groaned the stain on the door.
When is enough?
What is everything?
Who am I?
Do you remember that there are no answers?
We ask questions and open the void.
I am a wild creature, she breathed through every pore. Do you know how to fly, Inquired the endless sky? Of course I do, she replied, not making a move. Then where are your wings, demanded the coarse wood beneath her arse. I don’t need them today, was all that she said. So you’re stuck, laughed the branches prodding her gently. The wind was listless. No rain tried to fall. But the shadows had an interesting perspective. They took the form of whatever they lay on and when the sun turned, left no trace at all.
This moment of contemplation gives me everything I need for my next step. I am about to step into the unknown, again and again and again. Already I can feel the excitement fluttering inside like a deranged butterfly. If I concentrate on my breath, I am able to slow her flight but unable to allow her to settle gracefully on a flower of her choice. And this is necessary for the creature to dip into the nectar and continue the cycle of life. So I will practice. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.