I ask you directly because your silence takes me to the edge and I drown in deep water. What do you fear? You are free as a line that escapes from the pen. We made magic for a time. Our colours sang loudly. Our words whispered softly. Does your heart miss one tiny beat?
I don’t know what to say to you. My mind has been stolen by the sound of the waves. The rhythm is tireless and speaks to each day. I don’t know what to think, under the unceasing sun. My logic has melted and sits in my hands. There’s time to be hopeful, to look at our fears. There’s no room for comfort but always for tears. I laugh at the vastness of empty belongings. The trees know the answer is deeply connected. The mountain is solid, yet crumbles away. No-one is wiser. There’s nothing to say.
It’s the last night before I fly away from the budding spring and comfort of friends. I’m taking my sketch books along with my excitement. My backpack is full of anticipation, a tiny tent and my sleeping bag. I’m ready for two months wandering… offline. What joy!
Have a beautiful time wherever you find yourself.
You have to look for the signs, said the Goddess.
Is it the snow on the mountain, I asked?
The tree Gods swayed in the bone-chilling gale,
It’s always there if you look.
I passed a glance at the cloud torn sky,
But the Gods continued to shake,
I followed the path and stumbled on rocks,
Dead leaves crackled in mirth.
It’s not so far, said the old man tree,
Watch your step, said the grass!
I don’t know what to say in the face of madness. Words are never enough.
Photo by Jeni McMillan
We rest close enough for shadows to mingle,
Our leaf breaths exhaled as one,
Tiny filaments beneath the earth entwined,
Our bodies deeply rooted in connectedness.
I’m drunk on possibilities. You know, one of those moments when you want to say I love you guys, to the ex who I truly loved, the friends who I love present tense and the people who I will love in the future. Life is so fucking conjugated. And yet so simple.